i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
