Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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