it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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