You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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