if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
