How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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