4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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