Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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