I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
