Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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