I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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