I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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