Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
