I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
