You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
