if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
you inspire me to be a worse person
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Sorry about my life...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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