I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
