this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
