The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
