is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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