i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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