How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Pooping to opera.
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