did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
