oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
