You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
