Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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