All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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