all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
high people should be assigned attendants
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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