the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
