How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
