I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize