the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
they're like a gay fantastic four
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
