the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
