He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
