is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
