i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
