im drinking this country out of the recession.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dick very happy bro
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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