so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
