woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
