dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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