Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
