She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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