oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We don't watch enough power rangers
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
