when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
