yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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