You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm just crazy horny about you
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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