Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
