I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
