yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
