I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
