the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
