Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
