My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she peed on how many people?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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