rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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