she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
