You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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