Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
