yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize