apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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