Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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