The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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