I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
