i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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