my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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