Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
