I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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